ThE BeAtiTuDeS

Lately, I have been going through a rough patch....However no one understands or knows about it except Abba Father...Felt so devastated since tues and was crying out to God seeking for comfort...Somehow I do wish that I did not find out certain things that would hurt me even more. But yet i did.... I was wondering how can I just totally release everything and move on...

However, God is really good to me...Matthias my very good friend and also my guardian angel started talking to me on wednesday afternoon over msn...he seldom ask if I am alright but this time he did...when I told him that I was, he somehow sensed that that I am so he said that he will call me at night and went off to prepare for his meeting...

While talking to him I really cried and poured out everything. Things that I never wanted to say...Why? Because he just simply knows what was totally bothering me all these weeks and that it was a real difficult time for me.

After talking to Matthias, my mindset really changed and I told myself that I will let go and move on and also to resolve the issues within me...Because he reminded me that since that day when I asked him more in depth about discipleship and telling him that I want to go through discipleship and also that I want God to really change me from inside out by refining me so that He can use me...I should have expected such times to happen...So he told me I can just tell God that I don't want to go through it anymore or I continue to push through and break out of everything and grow...

After hearing these I told myself that I will never give up...No matter how painful it is I will be willing to go through all these...Because it is my desire to really become stronger...and also remembering that Bro Lester told me that I am already on the verge of breakthrough and i have to perservere if I really want to break through....

Lord, I just want to tell You that I am willing to go through all that I need to go through, all for your sake...Mould me and Use me like never before....You are all that I desire...

I am just so amazed by how God always send Matthias to counsel and comfort me when something is happening to me even without me looking for Matthias. Also, Matthias will always have the Godly wisdom to know how to deal with me and my situations. So all along I really felt that Matthias is really like a guardian angel that God sends in times of needs.

Also, Matthias is a really a great friend of mine....someone whom I know that even at wee hours if I need to talk to him he would be there for me...because quite a few times he just did that and also he never fails to protect me....seriously, talking to him is really nice but I rarely have such opportunities because he's so busy...so everytime when I get to talk to him I will be so excited...because he's really a very good story teller...also he has a very powerful voice and sounds real nice when he plays the guitar and worship or praise God.....

Lord, I just want to thank you for Matthias...he's really a great friend in deed...even from the very first day we started becaming friends was really kinda special because he actually taught me recursion when I had problem with it...But once he teaches me I do exceedingly well in it...He's really a great teacher too....From then on our friendship just developed even till now when we don't really spend much time talking as we used to anymore but I know that he will always be a great friend to me.....because it is You, Lord who placed Him in my life so that i can grow and learn from him...