ThE BeAtiTuDeS
Monday, September 12, 2005
Worship is the answer
God is reali reali so awesome...
He never fails to send someone, someone who has always been tt angel who is there at the rite time and rite moment to speak into my life , to guide me and to comfort me....
It has been 4.5 years already....somehow i noe that there is a special reason why God had brought him into my life...I never have to approach him but he would just appear at the rite time and moment....it's never difficult to relate to him at all...it just seems to me that he knows exactly how i am feeling or going through...even when i choose not to answer by saying nothing when he asks what's going thru my mind, he just knows it...and all he needs to do is to ask me questions and ask me to answer yes or no...and often the questions that he asks are so much related to what i am in....
Sweet and loving as ever, he met up with me...hoping to cheer me up...well, with his great sense of humour, he never fails to do so often...
I really felt so blessed to have you in my life, one who is always there for me in times of needs...even when i done wrong, you neva gave up on me but continues to trust in me...always doting me too...times when you were serious and stern with me, i know that you did that because you cared and wanted the best for me....
The tok that i had with you about wanting tt anointing of God had already caught me thinking and jerked me on the train...also about fasting n so forth...
but your call just now had cause me to have a greater revelation of worship...thank you for calling me once again to ask i i felt better and to play that song, it's really a beautiful song...indeed spoke of what i felt...and for the first time i reali couldn't stop tearing...you have ministered to me with that beautiful song, with your wonderful voice and anoited playing....God has indeed given you a great gift...a gift that could minister to pple...and indeed you have moved a step higher again, since the last time i heard you play the guitar and sing....
i really had a good time worshipping God...although it takes time for me to have His presence but i am thankful for tt call of yours...coz it made me wana have tt worship with him..coz thru tt song, i reali felt ministered to and i begin to realise tt how worship could change so much of me....n for the first time i reali took tt time to wait and to play till He comes...and i just can't stop and teared....and out came a song...but somehow i felt tt it's not fully penned yet..and my finger's really hurt with the blisters...:P...but i am thankful for tt session...and now i noe where i should go and do the next time
Thank you so much...all tt you did reali warmth my heart...you'r always dear to me....of coz, Lord, not forgeting that You'r the One who created such divine meetings and placing pple in my life for a reason to impact and make a difference in me...Thank You, Lord!!
He never fails to send someone, someone who has always been tt angel who is there at the rite time and rite moment to speak into my life , to guide me and to comfort me....
It has been 4.5 years already....somehow i noe that there is a special reason why God had brought him into my life...I never have to approach him but he would just appear at the rite time and moment....it's never difficult to relate to him at all...it just seems to me that he knows exactly how i am feeling or going through...even when i choose not to answer by saying nothing when he asks what's going thru my mind, he just knows it...and all he needs to do is to ask me questions and ask me to answer yes or no...and often the questions that he asks are so much related to what i am in....
Sweet and loving as ever, he met up with me...hoping to cheer me up...well, with his great sense of humour, he never fails to do so often...
I really felt so blessed to have you in my life, one who is always there for me in times of needs...even when i done wrong, you neva gave up on me but continues to trust in me...always doting me too...times when you were serious and stern with me, i know that you did that because you cared and wanted the best for me....
The tok that i had with you about wanting tt anointing of God had already caught me thinking and jerked me on the train...also about fasting n so forth...
but your call just now had cause me to have a greater revelation of worship...thank you for calling me once again to ask i i felt better and to play that song, it's really a beautiful song...indeed spoke of what i felt...and for the first time i reali couldn't stop tearing...you have ministered to me with that beautiful song, with your wonderful voice and anoited playing....God has indeed given you a great gift...a gift that could minister to pple...and indeed you have moved a step higher again, since the last time i heard you play the guitar and sing....
i really had a good time worshipping God...although it takes time for me to have His presence but i am thankful for tt call of yours...coz it made me wana have tt worship with him..coz thru tt song, i reali felt ministered to and i begin to realise tt how worship could change so much of me....n for the first time i reali took tt time to wait and to play till He comes...and i just can't stop and teared....and out came a song...but somehow i felt tt it's not fully penned yet..and my finger's really hurt with the blisters...:P...but i am thankful for tt session...and now i noe where i should go and do the next time
Thank you so much...all tt you did reali warmth my heart...you'r always dear to me....of coz, Lord, not forgeting that You'r the One who created such divine meetings and placing pple in my life for a reason to impact and make a difference in me...Thank You, Lord!!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Coming back to the Heart of Worship
For the very first time, singing this song really makes me weep....the pain and the grief seems so strong...that tingling warm feeling in the heart...somehow, all of the past wrongdoings and hurts simply came flashing so fast across my mind...showing me how much I have failed God ...It just simply hurts so much...:'(....after all that flashbacks, my heart seems to be twirling like as though it has been operated on....a heart that felt so much lighter than before, like as though i was given a new heart,...a heart that will be pure and soft which could love.....indeed, God You are gracious...your grace simply overflows....everything is all about You...and there's nothing I desire and I just wana lay all else at the foot of your cross and come back to the place of worship with a clean and pure heart each and every day....You'r deserving...
WHEN THE MUSIC FADES
ALL IS STRIPPED AWAY
AND I SIMPLY COME
LONGING JUST TO BRING
SOMETHING THAT'S OF WORTH
THAT WILL BLESS YOUR HEART
I'LL BRING YOU MORE THAN A SONG
FOR A SONG IN ITSELF
IS NOT WHAT YOU HAVE REQUIRED
YOU SEARCH MUCH DEEPER WITHIN
THROUGH THE WAY THINGS APPEAR
YOU'RE LOOKING INTO MY HEART
I'M COMING BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP
AND IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS
I'M SORRY LORD FOR THE THING I'VE MADE IT
WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS
KING OF ENDLESS WORTH
NO ONE COULD EXPRESS
HOW MUCH YOU DESERVE
AND THROUGH ALL THESE YEARS
ALL I HAVE IS YOURS
EVERY SINGLE BREATH
WHEN THE MUSIC FADES
ALL IS STRIPPED AWAY
AND I SIMPLY COME
LONGING JUST TO BRING
SOMETHING THAT'S OF WORTH
THAT WILL BLESS YOUR HEART
I'LL BRING YOU MORE THAN A SONG
FOR A SONG IN ITSELF
IS NOT WHAT YOU HAVE REQUIRED
YOU SEARCH MUCH DEEPER WITHIN
THROUGH THE WAY THINGS APPEAR
YOU'RE LOOKING INTO MY HEART
I'M COMING BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP
AND IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS
I'M SORRY LORD FOR THE THING I'VE MADE IT
WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS
KING OF ENDLESS WORTH
NO ONE COULD EXPRESS
HOW MUCH YOU DESERVE
AND THROUGH ALL THESE YEARS
ALL I HAVE IS YOURS
EVERY SINGLE BREATH
His Dwelling Place...
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART
TRUST YOU WITH ALL I HAVE
FOR YOU HOLD THE HEAVENS
AND EARTH IN YOUR HAND
YOU DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME
TOOK ALL MY SIN AND SHAME
YOUR NAME IS HOLY
EXALTED ABOVE ALL EARTH
GLORIOUS REDEEMER
YOU HAVE PAID FOR MY LIFE
YOU HAVE GONE BEFORE ME
NOW I’LL WALK BY YOUR SIDE
I LIFT MY HANDS TO YOU LORD
YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY PRAISE
JESUS REIGNS
JESUS YOU REIGN
ONE THING I ASK
THAT I MAY DWELL IN YOUR HOUSE FOREVER
A song that simply speaks of the cry of my heart.....
there's no other that I desire but you...I will run like a little child till I reach your arms....my strength and comforter
TRUST YOU WITH ALL I HAVE
FOR YOU HOLD THE HEAVENS
AND EARTH IN YOUR HAND
YOU DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME
TOOK ALL MY SIN AND SHAME
YOUR NAME IS HOLY
EXALTED ABOVE ALL EARTH
GLORIOUS REDEEMER
YOU HAVE PAID FOR MY LIFE
YOU HAVE GONE BEFORE ME
NOW I’LL WALK BY YOUR SIDE
I LIFT MY HANDS TO YOU LORD
YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY PRAISE
JESUS REIGNS
JESUS YOU REIGN
ONE THING I ASK
THAT I MAY DWELL IN YOUR HOUSE FOREVER
A song that simply speaks of the cry of my heart.....
there's no other that I desire but you...I will run like a little child till I reach your arms....my strength and comforter
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Jehovah Jireh...
After all the complaints I had...i would really say that God really listens..hehe...in fact He always does...but He may only work at His own timing...Indeed, he is really my Jehovah Jireh...
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
----* Philippians 4:19*----
Actually He never fails to be...it's just that He may delay and while I feel so terrible where nothing goes right...but seriously, there's always a rainbow at the other end...His goodness and mercies really endures forever...
Be still, and know that I am God
---*Psalms48:10*---
Indeed He is God...and nothing is impossible for Him...but times i just couldn't be still..but keeps on feeling so grouchy over whateva that is happening, even though He has performed many miracles for me till now....
makes me wonder?? is God tired of hearing my complaints??
Today, i manage to find all the books i needed for my maths lesson plan in the library..Praise the Lord!!! and i have project meeting so i couldn't print them as the book can only be rented out for 2 hours(red-spot books)...and guess what, God is really so good...one of my friend helped me with the printing..i really felt so thankful because she spent time standing at the machine and printing all the pages..and they r really alot..i went thru it before and the feeling is not nice to queue up and print..and once u finish one book u got to climb down return and borrow another and restart the routine of queuing an printing again...there was one day, i did that umpteen of times that the librarian started to ask me why don't my friend help me with it? But no one was around then...and now that librarian even recognises me..feels so funny when i see him at the counter..so embarassing!!!
Also, i have friends like jenny and jingwen who are so helpful and sweet...they got good teachers who provided with them much more stuff for their assignments..and they never fail to photocopy a copy for me..really so blessed to have both of you around...Thanks so much!!!
the toilet light and heater broke down yest nite..and had to bathe in cold water in the middle of the night and also go to the toilet in the dark...but guess what, the guy is coming to repair it soon..i really hope that by the time i get back to hall it will be done...
my roommate is really so so so so sweet tooo....she's going to stay over tonite with me..bcoz i have presentation tml and decided not to go home to avoid the travelling...and coz on sunday nite she didn't come in to sleep as her lessons on monday was cancelled, i couldn't get to sleep..then the weather was so hot and i am really not used to the room yet....and she offered o stay back tonite with me..so so sweet..thanks so much gal!!!
oh yeah..my presentation slides should be able to be done by tonite once i get the illustrator d/l...gonna leave the comp on while i go for service...it's really still so slow...can only pray tt it will be faster...
wat else?? my mum came to help me carry some stuff home to wash and also some books...so thankful for her..she's juz so loving and sweet...although many a times she just don't express herself in words but all her actions really showed so much..Thank You So Much, MUM!!! I really tried to wash some clothes here already but they needed ironing and also some clothes she said cannot wash using the machine..so bring home and do it..and my books..needed to do my assignments with them...seriously i really miss ya cooking...has been weeks since i tasted of tha already:(
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
----* Philippians 4:19*----
Actually He never fails to be...it's just that He may delay and while I feel so terrible where nothing goes right...but seriously, there's always a rainbow at the other end...His goodness and mercies really endures forever...
Be still, and know that I am God
---*Psalms48:10*---
Indeed He is God...and nothing is impossible for Him...but times i just couldn't be still..but keeps on feeling so grouchy over whateva that is happening, even though He has performed many miracles for me till now....
makes me wonder?? is God tired of hearing my complaints??
Today, i manage to find all the books i needed for my maths lesson plan in the library..Praise the Lord!!! and i have project meeting so i couldn't print them as the book can only be rented out for 2 hours(red-spot books)...and guess what, God is really so good...one of my friend helped me with the printing..i really felt so thankful because she spent time standing at the machine and printing all the pages..and they r really alot..i went thru it before and the feeling is not nice to queue up and print..and once u finish one book u got to climb down return and borrow another and restart the routine of queuing an printing again...there was one day, i did that umpteen of times that the librarian started to ask me why don't my friend help me with it? But no one was around then...and now that librarian even recognises me..feels so funny when i see him at the counter..so embarassing!!!
Also, i have friends like jenny and jingwen who are so helpful and sweet...they got good teachers who provided with them much more stuff for their assignments..and they never fail to photocopy a copy for me..really so blessed to have both of you around...Thanks so much!!!
the toilet light and heater broke down yest nite..and had to bathe in cold water in the middle of the night and also go to the toilet in the dark...but guess what, the guy is coming to repair it soon..i really hope that by the time i get back to hall it will be done...
my roommate is really so so so so sweet tooo....she's going to stay over tonite with me..bcoz i have presentation tml and decided not to go home to avoid the travelling...and coz on sunday nite she didn't come in to sleep as her lessons on monday was cancelled, i couldn't get to sleep..then the weather was so hot and i am really not used to the room yet....and she offered o stay back tonite with me..so so sweet..thanks so much gal!!!
oh yeah..my presentation slides should be able to be done by tonite once i get the illustrator d/l...gonna leave the comp on while i go for service...it's really still so slow...can only pray tt it will be faster...
wat else?? my mum came to help me carry some stuff home to wash and also some books...so thankful for her..she's juz so loving and sweet...although many a times she just don't express herself in words but all her actions really showed so much..Thank You So Much, MUM!!! I really tried to wash some clothes here already but they needed ironing and also some clothes she said cannot wash using the machine..so bring home and do it..and my books..needed to do my assignments with them...seriously i really miss ya cooking...has been weeks since i tasted of tha already:(
Friday, September 02, 2005
Jus needed to release my frustrations today....
ARRRrrrrGGGGggggHHHHHHhhhhh............
I'm so fed up!!!! Nothing seems to go rite today.....
Was being locked up in a classroom in nie after lessons with 2 of my frens...juz bcoz the meeting dragged till aft 7....almost could not get out of there..and the feeling of being locked up in a room without ani lights is so scary!!!
Wanted to go for makeup for BS but my meeting ended late and couldn't make it in time for it...but there's really where i wana go..mayb the House of God has become my hiding place...I juz wana dwell in His presence and to be immersed in His words...I just simply need to draw strength from Him to continue moving on...n mayb tts why i just desire to be in His house....
I needed the illustrator cs program desperately to do some design work for my project. Tml i will be having project meeting and i can't produce what i need to..felt so frustrated..started d/l at abt 9 till now and the connection is ultra slow that it can take up to like 22++ hours to d/l 385MB of data...what's wrong?? How am i to produce what i said i would? and my presentation is just on saturday and tml i won't even have the time to finish them up...What am i to do, Lord??
MSN have been giving me problems too....i can't see my contacts online and times i can b typing but realise no one get my msg...and i need files from frens...it's so irritating..and i kept getting signed out and in....what else must go wrong huh??
I used to like that literacy module but now my interest for it had simply died down...they r suffocating us..wif tonnes of work....expecting us to produce stuff within such a short span of time...Shared book reading is suppose to be real fun but it simply is so taxing now...with so much expectations from them...also, i yet to find my books for the teaching of reading...3 different genre and i manage to find one on contemporary realistic fiction...and i am looking for one on poetry but it's out of stock....where am i suppose to come up with the 2 more books?? Huh, Lord???
What more, my maths lesson plan assignment is due on 9th sept...and i yet to start of..went to the library umpteen of times but i simply can't get my hands on the teacher's guide..it's always MIA....and i even heard tt for that level that i am doing there is no teacher' guide available..so i decided to look for a level closest to mine but tt book is always borrowed out by others...what am i to say?? that all trips made are so wasted....
today , suppose to meet some sisters from e298 for dinner and fellowship but coz of my project meeting i just can't go..i feel that the time i have is getting so so so minimal..no matter how much sleep i give up..it's still not enuff...i'm so tired physically...and my eye bags are like becoming more obvious...:(...and time i spend wif loved ones are just so little too...and i begin to wonder how can i ever set my priorities rite...
at least b4 the term break comes all these i need to get them done..even tot of going for a short trip during the break but with the assignments they r adding on to us..i can't possibly leave at all....
when can i ever have a breathing space?? I'm drowning into the water...
Lord, you said that you'r Jehovah Jireh...My Provider....Can you please let your grace be upon me and lead me thru?? I recognise by my own strength i really can't move on at all...the steps seems to be heavier and heavier...and i noe tt i can't walk this journey alone...:'(
the thing that makes me feel realli so sweet was that...my students actually messages me to wish me happy teacher's day...there simply sooo sweet...also, thanks to sihui, cousin terence and frens who wished me tt...somehow, it kinda makes me felt tt i am not forgotten by u pple...
i guess, in times like tis..it juz simply feels so ultra duper nice to have pple who cares and bring the smile to my face...thanks so much!! the encouragements reali warms my heart...and also the acts of services realli touches my heart tooo....Reali thank God for all of you...really sorry that i probably dun show tt much of appreciation on my expressions and words but in my heart i reali am moved...it's juz tt lately i am less expressive...:)
After penning these, i reali feel so much better..and of coz playing of games and the guitar reali makes alot of difference too..hehe..okie time to go read the bible and zzz loh..got lesson at 8.30 and wif project meeting included, my whole day tomorrow will be ultra packed wif no break all the way till 4.30...can onli hope tt lecture will end at 4.30 and not drag like it did last week...i have been skipping my dinner every friday bcoz of lack of time....
Can't wait to enter the house of God tomorrow...really expecting a great service again...:)
I'm so fed up!!!! Nothing seems to go rite today.....
Was being locked up in a classroom in nie after lessons with 2 of my frens...juz bcoz the meeting dragged till aft 7....almost could not get out of there..and the feeling of being locked up in a room without ani lights is so scary!!!
Wanted to go for makeup for BS but my meeting ended late and couldn't make it in time for it...but there's really where i wana go..mayb the House of God has become my hiding place...I juz wana dwell in His presence and to be immersed in His words...I just simply need to draw strength from Him to continue moving on...n mayb tts why i just desire to be in His house....
I needed the illustrator cs program desperately to do some design work for my project. Tml i will be having project meeting and i can't produce what i need to..felt so frustrated..started d/l at abt 9 till now and the connection is ultra slow that it can take up to like 22++ hours to d/l 385MB of data...what's wrong?? How am i to produce what i said i would? and my presentation is just on saturday and tml i won't even have the time to finish them up...What am i to do, Lord??
MSN have been giving me problems too....i can't see my contacts online and times i can b typing but realise no one get my msg...and i need files from frens...it's so irritating..and i kept getting signed out and in....what else must go wrong huh??
I used to like that literacy module but now my interest for it had simply died down...they r suffocating us..wif tonnes of work....expecting us to produce stuff within such a short span of time...Shared book reading is suppose to be real fun but it simply is so taxing now...with so much expectations from them...also, i yet to find my books for the teaching of reading...3 different genre and i manage to find one on contemporary realistic fiction...and i am looking for one on poetry but it's out of stock....where am i suppose to come up with the 2 more books?? Huh, Lord???
What more, my maths lesson plan assignment is due on 9th sept...and i yet to start of..went to the library umpteen of times but i simply can't get my hands on the teacher's guide..it's always MIA....and i even heard tt for that level that i am doing there is no teacher' guide available..so i decided to look for a level closest to mine but tt book is always borrowed out by others...what am i to say?? that all trips made are so wasted....
today , suppose to meet some sisters from e298 for dinner and fellowship but coz of my project meeting i just can't go..i feel that the time i have is getting so so so minimal..no matter how much sleep i give up..it's still not enuff...i'm so tired physically...and my eye bags are like becoming more obvious...:(...and time i spend wif loved ones are just so little too...and i begin to wonder how can i ever set my priorities rite...
at least b4 the term break comes all these i need to get them done..even tot of going for a short trip during the break but with the assignments they r adding on to us..i can't possibly leave at all....
when can i ever have a breathing space?? I'm drowning into the water...
Lord, you said that you'r Jehovah Jireh...My Provider....Can you please let your grace be upon me and lead me thru?? I recognise by my own strength i really can't move on at all...the steps seems to be heavier and heavier...and i noe tt i can't walk this journey alone...:'(
the thing that makes me feel realli so sweet was that...my students actually messages me to wish me happy teacher's day...there simply sooo sweet...also, thanks to sihui, cousin terence and frens who wished me tt...somehow, it kinda makes me felt tt i am not forgotten by u pple...
i guess, in times like tis..it juz simply feels so ultra duper nice to have pple who cares and bring the smile to my face...thanks so much!! the encouragements reali warms my heart...and also the acts of services realli touches my heart tooo....Reali thank God for all of you...really sorry that i probably dun show tt much of appreciation on my expressions and words but in my heart i reali am moved...it's juz tt lately i am less expressive...:)
After penning these, i reali feel so much better..and of coz playing of games and the guitar reali makes alot of difference too..hehe..okie time to go read the bible and zzz loh..got lesson at 8.30 and wif project meeting included, my whole day tomorrow will be ultra packed wif no break all the way till 4.30...can onli hope tt lecture will end at 4.30 and not drag like it did last week...i have been skipping my dinner every friday bcoz of lack of time....
Can't wait to enter the house of God tomorrow...really expecting a great service again...:)
