ThE BeAtiTuDeS

after colouring my hair yest afternoon, i simply feel so moody...coz my beloved colour were gone in juz half an hour...the other time i took like 3 hours to get the lovely colours done...reali felt tt pinch too..coz it's ex to colour my hair...well, after a nite's sleep i feel better...accepting tt it has to be black or dark brown..which wil make me look tired compared to the lighter colours....well, what to do? i didn't wana get into trouble when i go back to skool...so now i shed the ah lian look for the guai guai look...haha...am i reali tt guai?? :P

went to watch king kong yest wif lijun at the princess theatre at bedok...oh man...i spent 5 bucks on movie and another 3 bucks on food...cheap rite...less than 10 bucks a day and i get to catch a movie and haf a meal....of coz, there's a downside for watching it there....those pple were so noisy and the seats were like so stiff..hehe...simply no ambience...:)...oh man..the show was like 2hrs and 50 mins...soooo long..and my butt hurts like mad sitting on the stiff seat..n the guy behind keeps hitting my head whenever he adjust his legs...can't he sit still???...whahaha.....lijun suggested watching it so tt i will get over my gloomy day over my hair...i can't believe it...get upset over my hair..so childish rite...hmm..but it's reali a tough decision..coz coming into this career reali gota make me change my dressing and hair colour......and i was telling lijun tt i will one day look very Ah Mah...she couldn't help but to break into laughter...glad tt at least i have my humorous side, which can make her laugh..:P

Went to bedok interchange juz now wif my mum to do some grocery shopping...bought lotsa food...haha..told my mum tt i'm going to eat lotsa while i could b4 going back to hall to stay...must enjoy good food b4 going back to the isolated place..:)...so i guess it's goin to be another growing even fatter period b4 slimming down in hall...tts juz fat hope...unless i stop my supper intake in hall...well, tts what i'm going to do!!! and i have to go jogging...even my uncle jogs everyday..so i'm going to at least jog twice a week..ehhee..so happy..he said tt i look healthier...

Jus finished organising my files and folders and burning cds...to prepare for the next sem...seriously i'm not at all looking forward to it..it's going to be another tough and busy sem....feeling fearful esp when i've to go for my practicum...well, i've yet to reali enjoy or rest these two mths...mayb i did at the start but then as the year end approach...i'm busier...oh man....wish i can juz laze around at the beach n enjoy the sea breeze, watch the sun set and the stars in the nite sky(always like doing this..coz i tink it's reali a romantic thing to do...esp when wif someone u love)...well, for now i'm going to spend time at home, enjoy home cook food and do some packing....not going out tml and fri...feeling very closeup lately..prefer being quiet and enjoy the stillness....however, i dun feel sad..but relai cheerful..:)...juz getting exhausted from the shopping n meeting up wif people...it's juz time for me to have my own personal space...:P...never used to appreciate personal space..but now i love it...:)

actuali, i reali wana paint my room wif sassy pink and another colour..but mummy said tt i've got no time and my room is in such a mess...i gota go to ikea to shop for shelves and boxes....if onli i've time:P....so many things tt i wana do..but juz seem unachievable..:P...mayb i juz think or want too much without being rational enuff....whateva it is...gota cut down on expenses...i'ver spent too much these past 2 mths...must plan plan plan....:P...but still, i already plan to get a new pair of addidas sneakers..:P...coz my baby blue one is getting old and i juz realised tt there's a slit..:(

JESUS is the reason for this season!!!
A season full of love and joy too...;P

oh man...but i ended up being so bruised on my both arms and on my left thigh....all due to a ride in the carnival....n got scolded by mummy too.. and she said: "Serves me rite!" ...when my relatives were like asking me what happened....so my mum was like commenting that i always try such challenging stuff...need to get injured then will learn to be more careful...hehe..mayb she's rite....but all i tot of was to accompany the two younger ones as they kept asking me to play wif them..so i juz gave my shot...didn't expect such a return what....:(...do u think i reali like the feeling of being injured? i don't..it hurts u noe..my arms are like hurting like mad tt i can barely lift anything up..and the bruise on my thigh was the worst..it's swelling!!! felt like a real handicap today...:(....

had a family gathering last nite too...hmm..the food was delicious..ate quite alot yest nite..hehe...my mum's recipe of 'Popiah'...and my uncle was like asking me and amanda to start learning how to make it ...so tt when they grow old, it will b our turn to do them...hehe...n i guess my relatives are reali worried about me..asking abt my bf...i wish i have one too..but i dun....i guess simply it's coz of time factor and yet to meet one whom i will wana haf as my future partner...i guess, hopping onto this career path, makes them even more worried...but,i'm just going to trust God tt i will find someone who would love me lots...;)...but now, it's juz not the time...focus should b on God first... but guess what, many of my cousins are attached and even brought their gf...and one of my cousin is going to get married on 3rd Dec'06....so cool, he'll be the 2nd cousin to get married....the 1st one already got his kid..but till now i've yet to see him....

this gathering was there to tighten the relationship btw all of us..but i guess, some of us hardly see each other that we feel like strangers...all we do is to ask what's each other doing?...but i thank God that there are some whom i still get to see and keep in contact wif...and i enjoy my communication wif uncle moses and kee hock..these two uncles are my favourites ones..they are always there to love,protect and teach....decisions tt i couldn't make, they r there to guide...always worrying abt me...since i was a small little kid, they have been there to watch me grow...and i reali thank God for them...coz without them, my life would probably be in a mess....of coz i wun forget auntie bee yan too...she loves me lots..always buying me stuff too..God is indeed good to me....:)

oh yah...matthias gave me a gift for Christmas...it's a teddy bear and a nice smelling sachet...initially when i got it..i tot was cookies...but when i opened it, i saw the teddy..i was reali reali surprised...oh man!!! It's so so cute!!! As usual, matthias is always so loving..hehe....he called me tt day when he was out shopping..hehe..it's like we dun usually tok..but everytime when we do, i always have a good time...i love the humorous side of him...hehe:P...n i really thank God for him, coz for the past years, he has been around me to love and protect me too....n not forgetting his encouragements in valley experiences...:)...i duno what others say abt u..but what i wana say is tt to me, although times u were stern to me, but i noe tt they were for my good..and till now, my impression of u being a loving guy does not change...U'r a Loving Brother!!!! ;P

Hmm..lyndon, gave me a bookmark which is about footprints...n a candle holder wif a purple candle inside..it looks pretty and it has a bible verse on it (1Cor 15:15)....abt love.....u noe something...it's the verse tt led me thru some times..and i will always remember to keep on burning 4 the Lord...n it's reali totful of u to remember abt the footprint story tt i told u before...abt leaving footprints in the lives of others...in case u tink u didn't surprise me, well u did again..hehe..thanks so much!!!

read the card tt terence wrote for me too..it's about love...and had a tok wif him yesterday while at the carnival..thanks so much..u've indeed grown alot..and the things tt u told me were things tt i have tot abt quite long ago already...so dun worry okie...:)...i've learnt and still setting boundaries..and i will let the gift of love tt God has given me be fully unleash so tt others around will feel His love...hmm, abt hafing this ability to attract people to me...seriously, i still find it hard to handle...but u'r rite...need to pray for greater wisdom to handle..:)..thanks so much!!!

having received the gift lyndon and terence gave, it simply reminds me more tt i need to start to exercise my gift of love again..coz it has been a long time since i reali try to love others around me due to fear....in fact i felt tt i've become more selfish...but i guess, what i wana do is to love God even more each day...:P then, my family....and the list shall go on from there...:P

well, these r juz the few tt i mentioned..of coz there are many little gifts and cards too, it's juz tt i dun haf the time to mention all....thanks to everyone!!!

but i tell u..the best gift is tt my bro coming back to the Lord once again....oh man..i'm so proud of him..i reali desire tt he will reali grow in the Lord and not backslide again....love you,bro!!!

Suppose to post this on friday..but was really busy lately...

hmm...lijun came ova to my place to do the little gift for our cg members for christmas...oh man..we procastinated for so long b4 we reali sat down to do it...but..truthfully, we were juz so not in the mood to do them...n i guess, we did a reali bad job for it..the designs look ugly..and the pens we bought kept coming against us..and plus our ugly handwriting...u guys reali gota pardon us..coz it's relai difficult to write on the balls..hehe...aft we finished them..we were really wondering if we should give..but lijun said.."it's the tots that counts" ...i was like..hmm..alrite then...

we went to meet lyndon in the midst of preparing the gift, so tt i can pass him jenny's present...coz he's going to meet her for a musical...n guess what, lyndon gave me a sonic fest poster...but what makes it unique was tt there r signatures of the planetshakers....initially i tot he was juz bluffing me..and somehow to me i dun go to an extent where i'm crazy over them but merely listen n like their songs....seriously, he did the unexpected..and i'm relai touched for all the effort he put in to tok to the people in charge in order to get the poster for me...coz i'm sure it's a limited edition!!! Thanks so much!!!! but i guess, u were a little disappointed coz i didn't look surprised afterall but then, i really felt it hard to show my surprise to ya....often, i would be too shocked to speak...coz u reali often surprise me wif the unexpected....i'm reali thankful tt u'r so xi xin...tt u pay attention to even slightest details and bless n meet my needs thru them....Thanks so much, for being such a blessing!!!

Went for a musical in my ex-church...oh man...those who left all went back!!! but there were so many new faces....but what makes me happy was tt i saw ben koh and jeanie...they are my bible study teachers back then when i was in my sec and jc days....those were the times where i was much closer to many of them..and they were the best teachers n mentors...and after like 3 years..i finally saw their son, noah...he's so so so cute and shuai....the last time i saw him was when he was juz a baby....but tis time round, he's able to tok, play and hug me...so glad tt God let me meet them again..coz they were pple who have sowed and made an impact in my life during the teenage age...

i should really thank God for all the people tt He had put into my life to love, care and protect me...and thru' them i indeed seen the goodness and grace of God....Thank You, Lord!! I love You lots...and i wana love U even more and more each day...:)

Oh man...those cats juz couldn't stop twirling around me...they seemed so excited to see me...it's 4 but not 1 cat!! They look pretty and cute...hmm...seriously, i was pretty taken aback when a white cat wif the bell on his collar started to follow me...it was basically jumping around me....and i was so afraid tt i would step on it when i walk..but to my surprise another 3 more cats started to follow what it was doing...i just couldn't walk but to stay still and try to take little small steps at a time...Then came a guy from afar..he came to help me clear the way for me, by playing wif them...I really thank God for him..else i think i can't even go back to my room....But i guess, i should really thank God that i had the courage to even stay still..coz, in the past i would have really screamed and teared...all thanks to jerel..He's someone who loves cats...while i dun coz i'm afraid of them..but whenever we come across one, he will not make me stay away from them.but let me face my fear..he's very much very very different from other frens of mine, coz they would chase those cats away...i guess it's coz he was more concern abt my character not my comfort...Thank God for him that i could overcome it...moreover, staying in hall gave me more chance to encounter cats..and many cat owners and lovers like lionel and lyndon...given that they tok and show picts of their pet..it simply made me more soft and not afraid of cats...but in fact find them so adorable....i guess, the next step is to be able to play wif them like the way i could wif dogs..:P

As I close my eyes,
Tears start trickling down
This heaviness, I pray
You will take it all away

Grant me the peace,
That guards my heart
Fill me with joy
That overflows

Lord, nothing else matter
I turn to You,
Waiting for You
Draw me close,
Closer in Your midst

In You, I found love
The love that’s so great
A love that no one could give
For You gave it all

Praise the Lord!!! He's really so good to me....

guess wat, i didn't submit my medical certificate in oct..and onli realise tt i need to have it submitted to the foundation office, apart from providing a photocopy to my professors... I totally freak out!!! because, i would have gotten a warning letter from the office....called bro vic and he adviced me to draft and email instead of heading down to nie...n i was like asking almost everyone around me to keep me in prayers...but tis morny when i woke up, i checked my email but there was no reply from the office...so i decided to head down and at the same time meet up wif nie frens...

before i head down, matthias msn me...i was like Wow!! coz every time when he does so, it will be a time where he will bring me a word for the season...and this time, he reali encouraged me once again...i always remember all tt he tells me and how those words that he spoke starts to trigger a change in me...of course, i never forget how much he believes in me..even when i do something so wrong, he will be there around me to support and encourage me...though he's firm, but it's all for my good...tt's matthias...one of the very very good fren and bro i have....i reali thank God for him..coz he's like a guardian angel tt God sends in times of needs...till now, i'm still in awe!!

arriving at nie, i met alex...he's relai so nice..went down to the office wif me...initially, the lady who was suppose to attend to me was reali unfriendly..however, after a few minutes she began to warm up a little and after listening to me, she told me to fill in the form and glue my mc to it...guess wat, alex help to glue it..but then i pasted it on the wrong place..and she smiled...oh man..do u know how nervous i was?? i tot i will reali get into deep shit...but i guess she must b tinking..why is this gal so blurr..never submit mc and can even paste it at the wrong place...nevertheless, i relai thank God tt He gave me the favour of man...and everything is settled...and also, she didn't scold me for having my hair dyed and highlighted....*God is reali awesome!!! He does mighty works*