ThE BeAtiTuDeS

oh yeah...finally it's time for a holiday for me...:)..haf been waiting for so long for tis..:p

hmm....but i tot holz is suppose to be real happy..howeva, it doesn't seem so...it started off wif me feeling so heavy and upset...but i noe tt God understands..

coz He sent my angel once again...n wheneva he comes, i really felt so miraculous..hehe..God is always doing something....in fact b4 he asked how have i been, i was already deciding tt i should juz leave things aside and move on coz i'm really afraid and tired...n when u leave everything into God's hands...everything seems so much easier...:)..

well, stayed over in hall last nite....but the atmosphere seems so reali different without him...as usual, alex and roomie were around..but it juz seem so different without him being in the midst of us...no laughter, no squabbling...n when we have our supper and i can't finish my food again...tis time round, it's alex who finished them...not him...i guess i simply miss his presence...tt wheneva alex is toking..i will slip into daze, brought to think about him....we walked to his room wanting to pass him some stuff...but he wasn't in...so alex said he will keep them and give it to him when he comes back...i'm shifting some of my stuff home tonite...didn't really wana stay here..coz it will remind me of the good times he had given me.....it's onli when ur frens are around tt makes life nicer....and times when u'r rushing assignment or sick...it feels so much better wif someone around, rushing assignments, helping each other out and encouraging u...n when something bad happens...he will surely be there to check tt i am alrite even when i shaft him aside...miss his playing on the guitar too....so many memories just flooded thru my mind this morny when i woke up....reali sweet memories....though we often squabble that rmie sometimes feel speechless abt us..n i reali dread squabbling wif him but last nite i realli kinda miss the squabblings...all these moments will always be ones tt i thank God for...coz without you, the past one mth wouldn't be what it is at all...times when i laugh and cry, you were there...thanx for being there...

so many activities for this holz...hehe..tml i will be going blading and big splash with my nie frens...reali hope tt i can get the tan tml..hehe....and of coz spend great time with them...:)

wana go to bangkok but then there's bird flu...so mummy dun allow...so my hopes are dashed ..then tot..mayb going pangkor island..to rest and relax will be good..but yet no accomodation for the dates tt bev is going...:(....looks like i must plan for another one...

have been catching the show * lovers in paris*...oh my goodness..it's reali so nice...i guess i simply love romance show..hehe...then i can put myself in the imagination world and imagine myself in my fairytale land too..haha...but indeed, love can really change someone.. ..but left wif 2 more disc and i will noe the ending already.kinda excited..:P..surely i guess it will be a very sweet ending..ehhe..ever wonder this?? u like a guy but yet this guy is unsure if he likes u and is afraid of liking you?? and tells u tt he doesn't want you around him..when in fact it is coz he realise tt he loves u too much tt he dun wana hurt you... and then there's another guy who likes u, and often is the one supporting you? wiping ur tears, getting u out of trouble, making u smile?? what will u do?? then imagine..if you are either one of these guys..and both of u are related...what will u do?? chase after the ger u love or gif her to the other party??

i duno what i will do if i'm the guys...but me being a ger..i will give my opinion about being tt gal...i will feel so torn btw both guys..but then, i will be very hurt to know tt the guy tt i love chose to hurt me by saying tt he don't like having me around juz because he wanted to protect me..to myself, i felt tt given such situation, i will wana be there to support him and go thru it with him....n not having him wanting to protect me then hurt me....learnt this from lyndon->"should always reach a solution where both party benefits..."

oh yeah..the bible study last nite was awesome....so so so awesome..felt so blessed by the word...